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Songs for Gods

by Rosie Lord

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1.
Out Of Time 04:10
Time is on my side but I don’t know which side I’m on, you see ‘cause I do not abide by rules that don’t agree with me, you see But what if I’m the rule-maker, rule-breaker, rule-maker, or some future deity? Maybe I’m a world-creator, tool-breaker, sword-taker from all these dead bodies? I guess I’m finding life is turning on a dime I’d reach for the stars but it’s too high a climb I’m a paradox abomination, a most ironic crime ‘cause I’m the god of clockwork and I’m running out of time. I was born on rock and raised on top of clocks and fire-sea now here we are on this dead star on some new messed Odyssey But what if there is more to it, more to it, fuck; screw it, we’re now nearly halfway there. What if I got left behind, in my mind, back in time, and now I’m just hot air? I’m running out of time, and I’m running far away and I would give a lifetime if I could live another day and I’d be worth a thousand words if I’d something left to say I guess the world is now my playground, but I don’t want to play because I’m running out of answers and I’m running out of rhymes and I’m running out of comebacks, and different ways to die so if you ever need me, I’ll be on the other side because I’m the god of clockwork, and I’m running out of time. Red blood and red sleeves and flash floods and light thieves Time scratch and disk hacks and timelines and white lies (Sear my mind, seer mind – paint my heart black as dark day and night, Knight and Page, Heir and Witch, Prince and Maid) (And off and on and off again I hope this sick beat never ends then maybe I can get some sleep, though I can never again dream)
2.
Stand by your easel, paintbrush in hand and stare into the deep sea of white the greenhouse is cluttered, there’s nowhere to stand and the colors are dripping, and growing to plants and the windows are fogged with the heat of the moment so don’t hesitate – if you do, you will lose it and you stare, and you stare, and you stare, and you stare to the beat of the clock that is ticking there. Paint with the blood of the days gone by, paint with the blood of the days. Stare at your notebook, a page new and crisp and as blank as a stagnating mind. Your pen is a fairy to grant you one wish but the words keep repeating, “You’re better than this,” and your hand is shaking with unrested eyesight and you’re bending the spine that you use to stay upright and you care and you care and you care and you care too much to see the words that are written there. Write with the tears of the time you’ve lost, write with the tears of the time. Hold your guitar like a promise to keep and wait for the strings to break. A sweet lullaby – now you’re falling asleep which is not all that different from staying awake and you’re soon woken up by the dream of the moment but you hesitated and now you have lost it and you stare and you stare and you stare and you stare into the past to see what you’re missing there. Play with the guilt of a wistful sigh, play with the guilt of a sigh… and watch your inkwell run dry.
3.
Moon rising up above the ocean sun falling down below the sea and I’m so far away from any break of day so far from the place where I should be. Someone is waiting in the distance someone I’m trying hard to find I knew her long ago but just like water flows so flow the crashing waves of time. Time drips away like water slipping through our fingers and our fins I promise, my friend, I’ll find you and where we meet, another world begins. Someone is singing in the distance someone is crying tears of pearl my maiden of the sea, maneli – stay with me and someday, we both will change the world. Someday, I know that I will find her someday, at least I think I will and when at last we meet her smile will be so sweet and Earth’s slow rotation will stand still. Life slips away like treasure sinking like the mem’ries of our sins we’re parted, but still I love you and when we meet, another world begins.
4.
Delete 03:15
My mind is running faster that the feet of marathoners when there’s only twenty meters left to go. The neurons shooting quicker than the speed of light, the speed of sound like pulsars beaming photons to and fro. And I was walking taller than the sky, I told myself that I could fly but then I fell and would have died if you hadn’t stretched out both your arms and kept me out of harm and caught me by surprise. There’s too much information like an over-crowded station where the people run and every train is late the palace walls are breaking, it’s no wonder that it’s taking all my power just too keep my vision straight. Confine all my thoughts into a stream, for all this life is but a dream, and every moment is a waking nightmare. And I, I think that I’m about to break, a feeling I can’t seem to shake in every moment I’m awake oh god, what will it take? It all comes down to you because you break my mind in two I never thought I’d be complete but that’s a thought I’ll now delete. The world; I feel it turning, and the sun; I feel it burning as the UV rays sear shapes into my eyes and everything is blinding and I find I can’t think clearly over this deafening uproar from inside and I am tearing cracks into my skin to try and let some fresh air in to help me settle down this din. But you, you are sewing up my scars and you are pointing out the stars above the busy London streets which I never thought I’d need so, delete, delete. You’re the one who keeps me right you’re my conductor of light you’ve performed a tricky feat: you’ve become a thought I won’t delete.
5.
Out Is In 03:54
I’m running through this house of mirrors All I can see is my reflection We all live in this house of mirrors The only way out is in. Is this my reality? Are these pixels on my TV? Are these moments genuine? Is my life even mine? I was born within these halls, I am plastered on these thin walls every turn I see another version of myself. These walls never shatter, the glass is ever bending They control the latter, the shift is never ending I can tell no longer which one of me is real I don’t think it matters anyway. I’m running through this house of mirrors All I can see is my reflection We all live in this house of mirrors The only way out is in. What is our reality? Darkness and brutality? Lethality, morality, mortality, normality? There’s nothing that was meant to be, no manifest destiny there is only is and how it seems to be. There’s nothing here that matters and nothing here that doesn’t there’s nothing here that ever was and nothing here that wasn’t and pathways twisting, turning, fill you up with quiet yearning for somewhere where you know you’ve found your way. Stop asking for reality, it’s no better than a screen. I can bend these walls and make them melt the way I want. I was blind but now I see: you can’t run and you can’t leave and objects in these mirrors may be closer than they seem glass can never shatter, it only can be twisted no matter how hard we punch – angry and tight-fisted it’s not about escaping, or looking for the door I don’t want to get out anymore. I’m running through this house of mirrors All I can see is my reflection We all live in this house of mirrors The only way out is in.
6.
It seems like it’s been ages since I’ve been home I don’t even know what it feels like anymore. I don’t dream but if I did I know I’d dream of walking up the steps and opening the door and seeing too many birthday cakes and urns filled with ashes and too many posters with too many memories. I wouldn’t dream of rainbow blood and skin with all these slashes and things that never should have been set free. It hasn’t been that long yet, relatively but everything can change in just a passing second you know how some birthdays can feel like nothing much but other feel like centuries are lit upon your bones and I guess that’s a lesson learned if I’m doing the learning how there’s not much difference between one second and the next but that makes the difference just that little second between breathing and not breathing anymore. and I haven’t had a moment to catch my breath It seems every time I blink I see nothing but death nothing but death nothing but death, death, death, death. I’ve learned a thing or two about nostalgia like how it creeps upon you like it was always there and how each little thing can then remind you like little jokes and rubber bands and bobs of snow white hair and how each passing moment is tinged with sharp regret but passes so quickly you can’t even see it go and we are all moments just these blips in time passing so quickly I can’t even say hello. I punch holes in the film of time I’m without reason without rhyme you’d think it would make me wise but it just makes me dead inside. I know that it’s been ages since I’ve been home I don’t even know if I had one anyway maybe it was destiny or chance but alchemy took over me and carried me away to where planets crash and burn and people become gods and we get no choice in whether we’re human or not and it’s no matter who we’ve lost there’re games that must be played but I remember what they all forgot. and I haven’t had a moment to catch my breath It seems every time I blink I see nothing but death nothing but death, death, death, death, death, death So give me just one moment to catch my…

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Five more never-available-for-download songs.

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released February 8, 2015

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Rosie Lord Illinois

Just a girl who likes to sing. Acoustic indie folk with choral-esque vocals. Chicago based. You can find me on soundcloud as Rosie Lord. :)

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